FOOOOORE.

Have you ever done something and “mid-doing” thought to yourself…”Hi, this probably isn’t a good idea?”

Welcome to me swinging golf clubs in my living room.

A few factors:

I have no idea how to swing a club.

I do not have tall ceilings. 

And I do have small dogs, very low to the ground. 

So, after a few slow and deliberate swings,

I retired the clubs.

And I am kind of proud to be writing about this choice,

Versus, writing that I shattered a light on my ceiling fan

Or drove a Chihuahua a few feet.

 

If only the rest of life could be this black and white.

Unfortunately, there will be shattered glass and the questions of “what did I just do?”

 

Sweep it up and move on. 

Learn.

And tomorrow, pick up the putter.

 

(learning to be more deliberate)

All bark, no bite.

For the past while, my dog has been wearing a bark collar with a dead battery.

And, she doesn’t bark.

 

This makes me wonder,

Do the things that hang around our neck, hold us back?

Does the fear of shock keep us quiet?

And because of this,

Do we refrain from making the right choices?

 

What if these things around our neck,

Which hold us back..are really nothing at all?

Maybe, just maybe…we’d live the lives we were meant to live!

 

We’d be all bark, baby.

Unfold the pages.

What to do tonight?

Hmm:

Watch mindless TV?

Stare at Facebook forever?

Mope around?

Check, check, and check (I thank you).

Then, I remembered…yesterday, I stumbled across my journal from Namibia, Africa.

Bright light!

 

So, I sat down and began reading.

Immediately, I was flooded with small and forgotten memories.

And suddenly, I was sitting in that small, cinderblock room.

With this pen and journal in my hand.

And thinking back on the day.

 

I remember the feeling of writing today’s journal entry and the emotion behind it.

Then, I listed what the plans are for tomorrow, always feeling nervous excitement and apprehension.

 

Looking back, almost 4 years later, I’ve come to realize some truths.

Laying in bed at night, apprehensive…happens.

The next day…works.

As I turned the pages and read adventure to adventure,

I saw life unfold, in a beautiful mixture of chaos, struggle, fatigue, heartache, love, compassion and reality.

 

Lending me these truths tonight:

Uncertainty is ok.

Not knowing is ok.

But, I know each day is new.

I know there more is ahead.

And I know that one day, I will look back (as I am today) and smile.

“How to be Perfect.”

Excerpts from “How to be Perfect” by Ron Padgett.

Get some sleep.
Eat an orange every morning.
Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room
before you save the world. Then save the world.
Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.
Don’t stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don’t
forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm’s length
and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass
ball collection.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.
Plan your day so you never have to rush.
Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if
you have paid them, even if they do favors you don’t want.
After dinner, wash the dishes.
Calm down.
Don’t expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want
to.
Don’t be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
Don’t think that progress exists. It doesn’t.
Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don’t do
anything to make it impossible.
Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not
possible, go to another one.
If you feel tired, rest.
Don’t be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel
even older. Which is depressing.
Do one thing at a time.
If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang
your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20
minutes. You will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and
gravity.
Do not inhale smoke.
Take a deep breath.
Do not smart off to a policeman.
Be good.
Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
Do not go crazy a lot. It’s a waste of time.
Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to
drink, say, “Water, please.”
Take out the trash.
Love life.
Use exact change.
When there’s shooting in the street, don’t go near the window.

Haiti

I’m sitting here trying to organize my thoughts and pictures from Haiti. 

As I’m here, my mom calls and tells me about the Cholera outbreak in Haiti.

 

I am broken and crushed.

These people are beautiful. They are amazing.

 

And they are already broken.

 

Now….more for them to handle??

More fear?

More tears?

More loss?

I don’t get it. 

 

Right now…

My thoughts are walking through the streets,

Seeing the homeless.

Seeing the rubble.

Seeing the faces.

 

The people.

 

And I sit here in tears.

 

What can be done?

I feel an empty loss.

 

I am bothered by injustice.

I am bothered that I am sitting in a coffee house typing.

I am bothered that cars are driving by.

I am bothered that our lives go on, despite their’s.

 

Injustice is that:

People are dying.

People are homeless.

Kids are living on the streets,

They are starving.

 

Injustice is that:

We are numb.

We cared once.

We watched the footage.

Once.

 

So what can we do?

I don’t know.

 

But this is my shot…

I am going to:

Keep Haiti close.

Keep the faces near.

Keep the heartache alive.

Keep faith.

I am going to remember. 

And love how I know how to love. 

I am going to hold on. 

Maybe there’s an “I” in why…

Clearing the air on Christianity (or at least mine).

God does not hate you. God does not spite you.

He is good. He is merciful. He is a friend.

 

As a Christian,

I am sick and tired of the following:

Christians that are:

 

Judgemental

Angry

Stubborn

Unforgiving

“Better”

Condensending

Unaccepting

And unwilling to love

 

I am tired of defending Christianity.

I am tired of people portraying Christ wrongly.

I am tired of a good thing misrepresented.

 

So…to clear the air:

God is merciful.

He is loving.

He is just.

He is compassionate.

And He calls us friend.

Christians, act like your Christ. Do the same. Love unconditionally. And clear the air. 

(and for those who already do, thanks)

rest.

Kate Pressman is lying in bed awake. At 1:54 am.

Have you ever woken up because you felt something crawling on you? Hi, I’m awake.

I shook the spider off my arm in the dark. And in the light…I can’t find it.

I’m lying here thinking how something so small can bring such fear and end rest.

The same is true in life.

The little things are hard to shake.

We let our fears and worries keep us from true rest.

Why do our situations, worries and doubts hinder us from becoming who we were created to be?

Is it true that the things that crawl on us, can keep us from reaching our potential?

Shake off the worries and trust that they can be gone. That the things felt in the dark…cannot be found in the light.

Find your rest. And find yourself.